A Typical Day
by lil genius
Summary: What goes on in the G-Pilots' lives that we don't know about? Read and find out.


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I think Sunrise does. Don't sue!  
  
Author's Note: My friend and I give each other stupid phrases which we have to include in a Gundam Wing fanfic. Just so you can see where my insanity comes from, I listed the phrases below: 1.Excuse me, but do you realize that your butt is on fire? 2.Thats it! No more penquins! 3.I've always had a foot fetish... 4.Any particular reason for giving me this pinecone? 5.Well that's the last time I'm shaving your legs. 6.I said fuschia carpeting, not purple! 7.Pineapple, I need a pineapple, where's a pineapple when you need one? 8.No, I hate fast sporty cars. 9.Kill the devil-box!  
  
It was a typical day in the home of five Gundam pilots whom were all glued to the own forms of entertainment for what they hoped would last the rest of the afternoon. However, their precious hopes would soon be shattered at the moment our dearest Quatre encountered some advertisements who were popping up all over the place in the usual pop-up ad fashion. 'Are you being watched?' "Huh? Watched?!" 'Are your children safe?' "What?" 'Is there porn on your computer?' "Porn?!" Poor innocent Quatre proceeded to scoot away from the computer. 'Who the hell is narrating this story?' "I can't take it anymore! Kill the devil-box!!!" "Winner don't-" Chang Wufei's shouts of denial were in vain as the blonde pilot we all know and love (and sometimes fear) stole Trowa's favorite pistol and shot the monitor three or more times. He then went so far as to break out laughing in that hyena-type insane voice of his. Wufei stomped over from the television were he was previously watching Mulan with murder in his eyes, but not literally, because that would hurt. "What. Did. You. Do?" Wufei asked, seething. "Um, shot the computer?" "What have I told you about shooting the computer?" "Um, not to?" Quatre was now looking up at him with big puppy eyes. "Then I suggest you find a way to fix this. I'm going back to Mulan." Wufei turned and stalked off to his own corner of the room and began singing very badly- "HEY!" Err, began singing in a very beautiful voice, the songs on the Mulan soundtrack. Mulan washed away any form of anger in his soul, thinking about being just like her. So honorable and strong. But his contentment was again broken at Quatre's wailing voice: "DUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Unfortunately, Quatre opened the door to Duo's bedroom, embarking him on a tidal wave of angry voices, debris, and other crap Duo never cleaned up. The blonde vaguely wondered why there was bubblegum between his toes before he turned to find the voices. Heero was sitting on the floor holding his shin tenderly while glaring at the Deathscythe pilot. "Dammit, Heero, why'd you have to-" "Omae o korosu!" Suddenly the room was silent, even though Heero said that same phrase at least seven times a day directed to Duo. Duo looked down at his comrade with hurt in his eyes and clearly stated as he left the room haughtily, "Well that's the last time I shave your legs!" Quatre was dumbfounded, but followed Duo because he was the one the blonde wished to speak to. Before any words could get out of his mouth, Duo turned and spotted the broken computer and proceeded to fix it. Relieved, Quatre left to find Trowa to return the pistol. In the living room, as the Mulan credits rolled, Wufei wiped a tear from his eye and stared lovingly at the movie box on the shelf. He was just thinking of watching it a fourth time when there was a brief knock on the door, followed by a slam as it opened and crashed with the wall. "Wufei? You home?" Oh no, he thought, not now! Sally saw him in the living room and gave him a fierce hug as he stood indifferent. "Wufei, I've gotta go get a car, and I want you to come with me!" "Why, woman, do you need me to help you get a car?" "Because you make the money and it's gotta be a family car! Didn't you tell the boys, we're getting marr-" "NO! Um...... No, pumpkin, I was going to suprise them." Sally Po, oblivious, dragged him with her to get a new car which was needed as Duo had done much damage to the engine "hotwiring" it. After the argument of who was driving, Wufei sat behind the wheel of the red convertible and drove to the used auto place.  
  
"I'll never get this piece of junk sold!" The manager of the used auto place was staring dumbfounded at an extremely old junker, whose maker had tried to modify it with various outrageous contraptions. "How can I find someone stupid enough to buy this?" Just then, as if a sign from heaven, a couple in a red convertible drove in. He wondered why anyone would need a new car when they already had such a nice one, but when the vehicle got closer, he heard the constant clanging, as if someone had pushed the car to its limits in speed and endurance. Little did he know, that was exactly the scenario. "Can I help you?" The young man shot him a Look. The dealer wasn't sure why, but he just did. The girl next to him hopped out and said, "We'd like to look for a new car." "We just got in a few select Mercedes-Benz if you'd like to-" "No, I hate fast sporty cars." The man with the Look said. At first the dealer stared at him as if he had two heads, but slowly came back to his senses. Looks like I did find someone stupid enough to buy that car. He cleared his throat and put on his best advertising smile. "We got in a junker just recently if you'd like to take a look at it...." At the chinese man's nod, he continued, "It's actually quite.....err..... interesting!" The dealer showed the couple to the car which lost a hubcab in greeting. The balding man coughed politely and showed them the interior of the car, the split leather, the broken passenger window... while the two customers stared at it. "And it even has two footpads on the steering wheel, so you can drive with your feet!" "Well..... I've always had a foot fetish..." Sally reflected. Wufei just nodded. "We'll take it!" The dealer's face lit up. If he could sell a junker like that he could sell anything! "The Mercedes, that is." "Aww......." And so, he got out the paperwork, and stood back as the couple prepared to drive it home. There was always tomorrow......  
  
"Pineapple. I need a pineapple. Where's a pineapple when you need one?" Duo whined as he worked furiously on the monitor. "Duo? How would a pineapple help you fix that?" "Actually, I'm just hungry and in the mood for pineapple." The brown- haired pilot stopped to pin his braid back up to keep it out of the way. Quatre just stared, still trying to comphrehend the importance of a pineapple in the world of mechanics. While in his reverie, Trowa came down the stairs.... no, he jumped down the stairs doing a 360-degree turn and a few somersaults.... with a fistful of carpet, ready to yell at someone. "Duo! Katherine is now in a room with purple carpeting. I said fuschia carpeting, not purple! And guess who gets yelled at? Me! I put it in your hands, and you can't even tell fuschia from purple!!" "Well, forgive me for not being able to tell apart two colors.... that are exactly the same!" "Fuschia is a much more delicate color than purple. It's calming to the eyes, not plain!" "I would have figured Quatre would be the only one here to know colors on an advanced spectrum, you know, growing up with so many sisters and all." "Hey!" Quatre wailed. "And in any case, Trowa, the tag said fuschia, so I bought it! If she has a problem, she can go out and fix it herself!" "That's it! No more penguins!" "What?! But.... But Trowa!" "No! I'll never make you penguin pancakes ever again!" Hurt, Quatre responded, "Will you still make me the kitty cats?" "Yes, Quatre, I'll still make you the kitty cats." The Heavyarms pilot left Duo to stop miserably over the loss of his favorite pancake shape. Oh well, he thought, I'll just steal some of Heero's teddy bear ones. And he left it at that. Quatre, beaming with happiness, decided to share his feelings to the world. He rushed inside his room to prepare a gift for his friends. He emerged only two minutes later with something to cheer up Heero. Bounding into Duo's room, where the Wing Zero pilot was nursing the long cut on his calf, and gave Heero his present, tied with a pretty pink bow. "Quatre?" "Yes?" "Any particular reason for giving me this pinecone?" "No." With that, Quatre skipped out of the room to the merry little tune he was humming. He paused for a moment though, hearing a "zzt" and someone screaming, and ran into the living room, seeing Duo running around in a circle. "Excuse me, but do you realize that your butt is on fire?" "PUT IT OUT!! PUT IT OUT!!!!" And thus ends the typical day in the home of five Gundam pilots.  
  
Author's Note: The end. What did you think? Funny? Stupid? Press the magic purple button in the lower left corner of the screen and tell me, or else I'll stick a thousand chibi-Relenas on you! 


End file.
